On Being a Hypocrite

Anyone who has done much biblical study or has sat through enough sermons knows the origin of the word “hypocrite.” It is from the Greek word ὑποκρίτης (hypokrites), which has to do with the idea of “playing a part,” and at first denoted stage actors. We have since come to apply the term in a negative sense to someone who pretends to be something they’re not, i.e. saying one thing and doing another.

Jesus obviously had some nasty things to say about such folks. The word “hypocrite” was one applied repeatedly to the Pharisees; usually in conjunction with phrases like “whitewashed tombs” and “blind guide.” So it’s safe to say that most of us would not like to have this particular word applied to us. However, I find myself in that category.

I don’t know about other pastors, but there are many times when I stand before the church on a Sunday and say things about the Christian life and holiness and so on, and in my mind I’m thinking “what a hypocrite.” It’s not that I strive to hold others up to a higher standard than myself, it’s just that in proclaiming the “ideal” I often realize just how far I fall short myself.

This was especially true last night. We were dealing with 2nd Corinthians 12 where Paul is discussing his “thorn in the flesh.” I was focusing on some of the lessons Paul learned from this episode which helped him to find the confidence and contentment that we read in this text as well as in others. And I couldn’t help but realize that I was preaching to myself more than anyone. I, above all, need to learn these lessons. I could hear my heart screaming, “Hypocrite!”

Now I have to say that I never try to present truths such as these in a hypocritical fashion. I never say, “I’ve figured this out, so now you do it as well.” In fact, on occasions such as last night I make a point of confessing my weakness to our fellowship and let them know up front that these are issues God is dealing with me about in my life. Yet, I still feel like such a hypocrite.

I struggle with anxiety. I worry about things in direct violation of the Scriptural command to “not be anxious about anything.” I know it’s disobedience. I know it’s lack of faith. And yet I struggle. So where do I get the right to stand before our fellowship and talk about contentment in spite of circumstances, resting in the sufficiency of God’s grace, and so on. I believe those things with all my heart. I just struggle with actually living them out.

So I guess I’m writing this as some sort of cathartic confession. And I guess that an ulterior motive is to seek the prayers of as many friends and family as I can, asking you to petition the Lord on my behalf. Pray that I would be more faithful. Pray that I would trust fully in the sufficiency of God’s grace. Pray that I might be able to say with Paul, “imitate me as I imitate Christ,” instead of saying “this is how we ought to live even though I can’t seem to do it myself.” And above all, may God be glorified in all things.

Thanks for bearing with me in my catharsis. Hopefully the next entry will be a bit more useful.