Well, that title probably set off some bells somewhere. I know that the views expressed on this site have probably already put me on every "list" out there, so I guess I shouldn't worry about it. And that's the point...worry.
I've confessed before the issue of my anxiety. I know it's sinful. I know it's from a lack of faith. I know it's plain disobedient to a God who commands me to "fear not." But, I struggle.
Allowing our oldest to spend a year in a foreign country as "au pair" (nanny) to a family we've never met did nothing to help with my little problem. Of course, "allowing" is a strong word. She is a 23 year old college graduate. We didn't really have much say in the matter! But seriously, an American living abroad these days can be a scary prospect.
My daughter does nothing to help ease this fear. She is a writer, with a wonderful gift of imagination. And she's been writing a travel blog to keep us all updated about her adventures. Her fanciful writing is great fun when describing the history and architecture and such of the city she lives in. It was wonderful to read her poetic descriptions of a recent trip to another nearby land. Made me jealous, actually.
But her last post....that's another matter. She spends her time describing some of the folks living in her little apartment community. With all her artistic flair we get the view from her window and it's quite enjoyable. (Though I do worry a bit about the stalker tendencies!) All is good fun until she mentions the Russian spy. Whether this is real or part of her little world of make believe, she mentions the guy who other residents rumor to be a soviet secret agent of some kind. Fun character for writing. Not so fun if you're daughter actually lives near the guy! Worry!
And then there is my truck that just broke down, the washer broke down, the bathroom floor is caving in, other plumbing issues, and severe storms are on the way, and, and, and...Worry, worry!
Then, in to the midst of this, I read a post from Paul David Tripp which simply reminds me: "You will experience a heart at peace when you remember that the God of wisdom, power and grace has already written the final chapter of your story." Thank you, sir.
Of course, I know this. I repeatedly preach to our church about God's Sovereignty. I know the truth of it. I just need to actually rest in it. Trust that God is indeed on the throne, all is in His hands, all is according to His plans and purposes, and all is for His glory. Nothing is beyond His sight or control. Even if my daughter does live near a Russian spy!